i feel like i am slowly fading into none.

my heart is a broken time bomb.

for sometimes for the hell of it,it would tick in reverse.especially when your not around to suffocate me.but the moment the sound of your cracking voice shook me, it starts beating rapidly into a destruction.almost always at the edge,but never truly ticking until i explode.until every single thing just combust and then collide.of course,i would've died then.

but here i am.thinking.mind mapping a way for the both of us to get out of this mess.i would be cruel to just discard you.as if you meant lesser than how i made you.i too,feel the magnitude of our golden days.i too, feel obliged to keep this from fading.retaining every detail from ever having to leave our rusted minds.but this responsibility i fear is beyond me.in fact, it is beyond the both of us.

are we that special to be granted powers to fight against time?

i hope your not that naive.

darling,we have changed.

we will never be the same again.this glitch had set everything off.to fix this is to pretend that everything is fine.but our hearts are too broken to play pretend.we're now two restless souls.

My new year’s eve was a blurry one.

aside from drinking too much,I took refuge in talking to strangers or dancing alone.i must admit, there was errors here and there.mistakes a drunktard would commit to.nothing that I was proud of.if it taught me anything,new year’s eve taught me that I get drunk a little too easily.and then do shits that I would later regret terribly.

I have no resolutions.although I am obligated to do as well as I could in college and trying my best to be loyal or faithful or whatever it is I need to be as a lover.familiar faces said I had gain weight,perhaps becoming an anorexic should be in my to do list.or not.

I have this sick and sad feeling deep in my stomach.like I’m about to puke or something.if 2012 was destined to be the last year for this rotten planet,perhaps that’s whats causing these motion sickness.or maybe its my conscious telling me to stop being such a fuck up.

i am reluctant to introduce myself.

partly because since this is a new blog and i have zero followers to introduce myself to.and mostly because the cliche act was numerously repeated in my past that i have neither the mood nor the energy to say anything remotely true about myself. all i could say is that i am a 21 year old college student who does nothing and wishes to self destruct almost every other fucking mundane day (not that my life is that mundane,it's just unfortunately too mediocre).i don't have cool friends,neither do i have the sufficient funding to support them, i don't post drunken hipster pictures of myself (except for the few that i actually look good in), i am not a genius nor am i mysterious.at other days i can be charming but most of the time i am a quiet mess.i have the most rapid moodswings that makes me look a tad bit more naive than most people my age would .i used to have friends,they were my cats.but had since gave them away due to a skin allergy.i have the occasional strangers that come to my life though, however their visits were intended nothing more than just the random confessions and the desperate search of a tool that would cater their emotional needs.i am that tool.

needless to say,my denying of an introduction ended up an introduction anyway.i guess i can be predictable.as any blog post would, i shall now end this with a youtube link of a song that best describe my mood today.goodbye invisible readers.

i lied.there is not particular song that would describe the exact feelings i am feeling now.